JuiceWoman

I’m sitting at my computer with a genial bowl of vanilla-bean ice cream smothered in a half cup of homemade chocolate sauce.

And indeed, I feel content, but at the same time, ready for a change.

Don’t run away when you read this (because you’ll think I’ve jumped on the trendy bandwagon), but I’ve been mulling over doing a brief juice cleanse in the next couple of weeks.

In fact, I even have the equipment on my kitchen counter.

Does anyone remember the Juiceman infomercial from the early 1990s? Taking well-deserved breaks from reading Foucault, Barthes, and Kristeva, I was captivated by its promises of nutrition and was thrilled to receive a Juiceman juicer as a gift.

(The only problem for this ardent feminist was its name. I quickly designed a new label—the female/male biological symbols—and affixed them to the, ahem, Juiceperson. I ran with a Walkwoman too.)

When the semantics were cleared up, I loved juicing, but eventually, after a move and a new job and children, I ended up keeping the Juiceperson in my cupboard.

But earlier this week, inspired by GOOP’s January cleanse, repulsed by the MasterCleanse, and intrigued by the BluePrint cleanse, I brought out the machine and made a glass of delicious apple/celery/carrot juice.

So: I’m halfway thinking of doing this juice cleanse on my own and adapting recipes from GOOP and BluePrint, saving a couple hundred dollars in the process (BluePrint is fairly pricey ($85 a day if you aren’t in NY/CT), and I’m not thrilled about having fresh-pressed juice sitting in my fridge for three days—I’d like to drink it immediately upon making).

Both GOOP and BluePrint also call for some dessert nut milk—coconut or cashew, and I’m thinking of making almond instead.

But this will take some planning and I’m curious to learn whether anyone has tried a three-day juice. I will begin on Thursday next (I think!).