Thursday, January 17, 2013

Not the New Yorker on Quentin Tarantino's Golden Globe

Quentin Tarantino won a Golden Globe from the Hollywood Foreign Press for his Django Unchained screenplay. His acceptance speech detailed his creative process; later that evening he told a New York Times reporter his favourite line from the film: "If there are any astronomy aficionados amongst you, the North Star is that one."  He continued: "'It's clever,' Mr. Tarantino said, eating sushi. 'And there's a lot of "A" words all connected together, which is very musical. That's poetry.'"

What follows is an imaginary conversation among possible member publications of the HFPA:

Ahh, that humble Quentin Tarantino!  He said that he wasn't expecting this award, and he sounded like he really meant it! Like he knew his screenplay was overwritten and the couldn't believe that the Hollywood Foreign Press chose it over the more nuanced works by those other writers! But to me it was a (ahem) match made in artistic heaven: Tarantino and the Golden Globe.




Hellooo! Did you hear what he said next? The next five minutes when he talked about how he gets his friends together--or is it individually?--and lets them read scenes from his work-in-progress?





Hello backatcha, eh! You're wrong!  He reads the scenes TO them, out loud, so that the listeners get the full benefit of his rhythm and voice.







No--it's not for the listeners--he doesn't even want their feedback; he tells them to say NOTHING! It's for him, the auteur, so he can hear himself in front of a breathing human, though that person must remain utterly silent.







Maybe the person doesn't even have to listen, if he or she isn't expected to comment.








But then they'd miss hearing his awesome alliteration, a phrase that, omigosh, repeats the connecting A words, just like the maestro did above!!








You have only two connecting A words and he has five. That's why he's the awesomest alliteratingest auteur (drat; just three! Need another Molson. Eh.).










Bonus: Not the New Yorker Cartoon:

Sally Field: "You really like me."

Quentin Tarantino: "Actually, I really like me."

3 comments:

Belle de Ville said...

Brilliant post.
Yes Tarantino and the HFPA deserve each other.

Miss Cavendish said...

Hello, lovely Belle . . . Bwahaha on the reciprocal love between Tarantino and the HFPA!

Dash said...

Very brilliant! If you have a few moments to spare you may find this recent interview between QT and one of Britain's finest news broadcasters amusing:

http://www.channel4.com/news/tarantino-uncut-when-quentin-met-krishnan-transcript